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It flashed across my twitter feed.  
I couldn't believe it. 

The only book in sales I'd ever need - (they told me)
I waited weeks for it to arrive and ran around to a handful of Barnes and Nobles until I had it. 

I couldn't even wait for Amazon to delivery it. 

They called it, "the new Psychology of Selling" and it emphasized as business owners, it's not what we sell but how we sell it. 

Our ability to "close sales", depends on our ability to connect with people.
(awesome perspective!)

And as I tore through the pages, and grabbed great nuggets, I thought, "This?  This is the new psychology of selling?" 

They shared it was about being a good person, a great friend, and having an emotional awareness of those in your circle and being tuned in to their needs. 

AND THEY CALLED THIS NEW?
(no wonder why there is a stigma around selling, what have you been doing this whole time?!!)

This new way was not new at all and this "approach" is definitely not new to women. 

This is exactly how I run (and ran) my businesses and coach others through theirs. 

We must show up and treat our customers just like we would our own best friend. 
I even wrote about it, here.

Towards the end of the book, that's where I had to stop reading

The ping in my stomach hit.

He punched me right there and said while the relationship is important, it is not more important than the sale and the relationship cannot get in the way of the deal closing.

{WHAT?!  insert every salesman stereotype here}

As a Sales Coach, I would never give this advice.
(maybe that's why they call me unconventional)

Yes, the sale is very important and when you understand selling through the eyes of service it is your job to sell and help the person get over objections and get what they want. 

And if done well, you can get what you need too. 
They don't have to be mutually exclusive. 

But to be successful in sales you have to be the one that removes yourself from the outcome, the sale is not more important, it's the person.
(see?)

So when you use the relationship to get a sale that's when it gets icky. 
That's when it doesn't feel right, you must SEE them AND their NEED -
(EVEN AFTER THEY DON'T BUY!)

That's why making a contact list of 75 friends to see if they'd buy feels gross.
(not to mention totally outdated)

And those who experience this FEEL USED.
THEY FEEL USED.

So as business owners, we must earn our right to sell.

We must earn our right to ask.

And if I was to pick out a new way of selling, it's creating the environment that moves them to absolutely without a doubt, fall in love with their decision to buy. 

And you know who people love to buy from more than anyone else?!!??
THEIR FRIENDS.

The whole point of selling is to help your relationship not have a relationship where the most important outcome is the sale. 
(sorry Jeb, great book, but this point is wrong.)

So try instead to warm your life with new relationships not to expand a rolodex but to see people as they are, where they are, and with tools and service that they want.

And only then will you succeed.
And only then when you have earned that right, will selling feel awesome.

If you're a creative business owner, ready to connect to excited customers and grow your business that isn't filled with yuck here's the link to my schedule and I'd love to hear more about what you do and if I can help you with refreshing sales strategy..





 

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