How to Change the Conversation Over to Your Sales Pitch


How to Change the Conversation Over to Your Sales Pitch

We’ve all been there. You have a potential client who is very interested in what you do and how you can help them. But they just keep asking question after question. Except the one question you want them to ask you - about your service.

So how do you change the subject to your paid offer and transition the conversation?


The first thing you need to do it is create a boundary. You can do that 1 of 2 ways. 

  1. Create a boundary with the Amount of Questions The Potential Client Can Ask You

You can preface this with:

“I know you are asking a lot of questions and I want to answer them, but why don’t we narrow it down to the two most important ones.”

Or you can say,

““Which question will make everything else easier?”

This will get to the heart of their problem and help you better understand the situation without having to constantly be answering never ending questions.

2. Create a Boundary with the Amount of Time You Have

You can preface this with:

“Alright, I have 10 minutes until the kids need me, tell me what is going on? Lay it on me.”

This will show them that you care and want to help them but they can’t have your attention all day. 

Once you get to the heart of their problem, you can continue on by asking them a set of questions to get to your paid offer. 

Questions to ask Before the Sale

Ask things like:

  1. What do you want?

  2. Why is that important to you?

  3. Why is that important to you now?
    People only think about their problem in the here and now. They typically can’t see the future vision.

  4. Do you want help with that?
    This leads perfectly into how you can help them.

If the conversation is not to this point yet, ask them:
“Okay, what questions do you have for me?, How can I help you with this?, or  Do you want to talk about my offer?”

Give them an opportunity to ask about it and they will sell themselves into your offer!


women do this best


women do this best



My friend said, "pop your booty and flip your hair!"

We laughed and laughed and laughed as she took my photo.

and here it is, in all its' silly glory for the first time because it was just a fun inside joke shared between the two of us.

and last night when I was talking with a client she said, "I can only talk about what I do with my best friend, not anyone else, not my coworkers, not even my aunt."

"I dont want to bother people."
"I dont want them to feel used."
"I dont them to think I'm always selling."


You need to talk to people like they're your friend.

I have a reputation of being able to walk into a room and make friends with anyone.

And that’s because I ALREADY believe we’re friends.

So I approach nearly every new conversation with a stranger, like this, like we already know each other.

and because we "already know each other" it immediately builds a bond and that bond creates understanding. 

and guess who understands us better than our most intimate partners?
best friends.
(we also tend to like our best friends more than them anyways)

So you've created this environment and you know what that does?

People start to feel understood. 
it means you *SEE* them.
It means you *HEAR* them.
it means youre not after their money.
And it means they LOVE you because you earned their trust. 
and it means you have earned the right to ask and share about your product or service.  . 

This is WHY I ALWAYS SAY, women are incredible business owners, because we see and hear people like nobody's business.

and just to be clear I dont walk into a room thinking, "wow, who can I manipulate to be my friend so I  can make a sale."

I am walking into the room, wondering, "who is going to make my life better and funnier." 
Because that's what friends do.  They make everything better and funnier. 

like that time, a friend brought me a cheeseburger from shake shack after giving birth 12 hours ago with a bottle of champagne.  (Hi Chelsea!  I love you!) 

or like that time, a friend drove 19 hours with a car full of her kids to see me for 2 days and brought beer and nutty butter bars and can cheese.  (Hi Sara!  I love you!)

or that one time, a friend sat in bed with me after I had massive surgery and brought cosmo magazines and watched 8745234 episodes of America's Next Top Model.  (Hi Jill!  I love you!)

YES it's true, some people find me annoying, (and yes I will cry about it)   but we already know our best friends are the best people and its not about us, it’s about us wanting to know THEM. 

So if people dont want to be my friend, I ALREADY have the coolest ones, it's ok.

You can build deep connections when you interact with others based on WHO THEY ARE so instead of trying to be impressive, be impressed.

Your business will thank you and your friends love you.

If you still need help with the words to say, here's 42 ways to ask for the sale without feeling weird. 


6 Business Podcasts Worth Your Time


6 Business Podcasts Worth Your Time

He asked if I had heard of "podcasts" and begin to recommend one. 

It was the first time I had heard of such a thing. 

That was nearly 5 years ago and I haven't stopped listening. 

Podcasts are absolutely one of my favorite things and especially when it's related to growing my business.

And since most of my days are at home raising 5 children under 7 I have spent hundreds of hours listening to podcasts in the background. 

It's basically a glorified radio show you access on the internet for free. 

I have listened to politics, unsolved mysteries, interviews, history lessons, Hollywood gossip, and business everything. 

There is something for everyone.

Podcasts have exploded in the last year or so and now the pressing question is out of thousands of options, what podcasts are worth listening to?

Here are list of my favorite business related ones that are well worth your time.

1.  I LOVE MARKETING with Dean Jackson + Joe Polish


If I was to listen to one single podcast, this would be it.
Joe and Dean was the show my friend had recommended.

When I started my first business, a local cleaning company, they weren't preaching how to push products like everyone else but addressed the issues unique to a service based company. 

They are a former carpet cleaner and real estate agent and have had this show for years, so it's also been fun to be a part of their journey as they transitioned into interviewing bigger names and improving their audio!


2.  Rich Bitch with Angie Lee



I stumbled into Angie's world and immediately turned around and left. 

Thinking about why now, I'm not exactly sure why but she didn't resonate with me and using the word "bitch" I especially don't resonate with. 

But then she started showing up on my instagram feed and it became hard not to fall in love with her. 

Angie is your practical best friend who tackles topics around money and confidence.   She makes you feel like everything is within your reach and really breaks it down so it is.  

I look forward to every episode she pushes out and I always find myself forwarding it to a friend or a client. 

3.  The Money Oracle Show with Snowe Saxman




I have worked 1 to 1 with Snowe and she is by far an incredible mentor with an equally inspiring story. 

Her captivating personality and voice makes every episode pack the most punch, you can't help but sit on the edge of your seat with each episode

She has been where you are, and then some deeper darker trouble and still able to light up her audience with profound truths about managing money and ultimately how to change your thinking around it. 

You can catch my interview with her on episode 5.

4.  Smart Passive Income with Pat Flynn


This is the most exhaustive business podcast I have ever listened to.

There isn't a topic that he isn't covering. 

I love every time I tune in I am learning something, actually learning something new. 

He positions himself as someone who's along side this business journey with you so he's learning too.  Which makes him ask the best questions to get real information. 


5.  The Introvert Entrepreneur


Beth is as real and genuine as they come and her podcast is no exception. 

It's a lively space for conversation, learning and sharing and she has received many awards for her efforts. 

She takes an introvert perspective on business and life while providing resources, advice, and inspiration.

You can check out my interview with her on episode 159.


6.  Building a Story Brand with Donald Miller



Donald Miller is a relatively famous author in Evangelical circles and every now and then I would search for his newest book (I have read all of them).

I ended up stumbling into his business world where he basically is an undercover marketing genius. 

He has built a company helping businesses sell more through clarifying their message (ie.  their story). 

There is never a bad guest, his interviews always give such great lessons to easily be applied to your business. 


surprise #7.   SHE SPEAKS SALES with Shawna May!


That's right, yours truly has her own podcast and I totally think it's worth listening to. I help hash out those really awkward conversations around selling so you can actually feel great about so it moves your customers to eagerly buy. 

It's still pretty new but it's mine and you can listen right here. 

There are plenty of great podcasts and this list is not extensive.   When I'm choosing a podcast I'm wondering is this captivating, conversational and can I really apply these lessons to my business.  These podcasts do all that and they should give you a running start as you narrow your podcast search.  Do you have a favorite I haven't listed?  

Reply in the comments and I'd love to check it out!    

You can also hang out with us in our facebook community here and grab your "sweat free selling with ease guide" here!




They want you to quit + you just can't.

They want you to quit + you just can't.

I walked outside and there she was.
Someone I had never met before.

She was enjoying her cigarette with my neighbor on the patio and I assumed they were friends.

Without a hello, hi what’s your name, nice to meet you, she asked me how many kids I had.

“4 and this one”, pointing to my belly, “so 5 really.”

I have enough experience with this topic as a mother of 5 under 7 and knew it was going to go one of two ways.

It went the way where I would have to fake laugh and say “yah-yah-yah” like a good Minnesotan who doesn’t rock the boat.

There was nothing mean about this exchange or mean about this woman but there is a problem with this point of view.

And she went there.
“Are you done?”

I can’t even answer this question.

I. don’t. know.

My mind starts thinking about a response, like what if we were done two babies ago, and we would never have Sam or Caleb?

I can’t even wrap my mind around knowing that that’s who we’d be missing if we had affirmatively decided “oh we’re done now.”

I half laugh and respond with, “I dont know”

She goes on with eyebrows raised, head tilted, and leans closer to me, “Well you have 5.”

“Yes, I know.”

And will you be the one that goes into the house to pick which kiddo should not be here, in this family, as if to imply we have too many?

The thought is so insane to me.

I try my hand at a witty response but really a mantra I say to keep myself going in times like this, “we will always be open to the possibility of life.”

She continues to push me.

“But you already have 5, 5 is good.”

My face feels hot, and I wonder how do I leave this conversation, politely.
'cause oh you know, Minnesota.

I start to explain myself, “my husband and I are 1 of 5.”

I continue to explain myself that I had ovarian cancer and not that long ago doctors threatened to take every child bearing part of me and we were told, "you might never have kids."

I muster, “I know but we always wanted a big family.”



“It’s hard.”
Yes, I know stranger lady.

“It’s really hard on your body.”
Yes, I know stranger lady.

“It’s really hard on your finances.”
Yes, I know stranger lady.

“It’s really hard having them that close together.”
Yes, I know stranger lady.

“It’s really hard, I think 5 is good.”

No, stranger lady.
You don’t know that 5 is good for me

This answer is only good for the parents involved.

How many children is too many children is up to that family

I walk back inside.

(I’m so pregnant.)

I don’t need anyone telling me all the ways that having children is hard.

You know who knows that? Me.

And everyday I have to fight the hard and muster the courage to face it.

The last thing I need is my face rubbed in it and hear comments like “what did you expect”.


Life is hard.

and just because I have a series of babies doesn't mean my life would be easier without them... or those who don't, don't have their own serious sacrifices.

And this is why it bothers me so much, because when people like this woman, tell me it’s hard, they also give me an excuse to quit.

It's the same reason why when my first business got hard, everyone around me told me to throw in the towel.

As if how difficult something is becomes the marker to stop that and walk away.

I fundamentally don’t want to be that person because I literally open the door for my weakness to win, every time.

I literally cut off the creativity it takes to come up with a solution when I believe everything is "figure-out-able".

While I'm not purposely seeking the most difficult path we’re made to feel bad for wanting more even if it’s hard and start to believe if something isn't effortless, we're doing it wrong.

Beginning any new idea, dream, business, or trail always sounds strange because it doesn't exist yet.

No one tells you how to live with your big dreams, big family, or big goals, they just tell you to stop because the vision came to you, not to them..

I want to be the person that makes choices based on love and not fear.

I want to be the person who fights, and wins.
at home, in my life, and in my business, simply because I can.

PSIf you're ready to fight for your business, the one that you know that can grow both your vision and bank account my 6 week small group program is open. 

We're not going to quit.

We're going to create excited customers who love what you do and love your cool stuff.

Its time to have the "i can't believe they're buying and it never felt like I had to sell anything" business.

Reserve your spot here with fast action pricing by 9/10/2017

Photo credit //




When you're right and want to point out their wrongness.

When you're right and want to point out their wrongness.

I was 18 when my mom tried to get me to drive from Minnesota to Colorado with our family of six in one small car.

Six people that happened to include a brand new baby brother and a two year old toddler. Sounds fun, right?

Stuck in the back of the car with babies for days on end?

I told her there was no way I was going to get in that car.

She didn’t talk to me for 3 months while I lived at home for that summer. That was the last time I would live there.

I see this kind of recurring theme in conversations, over and over again.

Our need to be right at whatever cost, even if that cost happens to be our most precious relationships.

We value rightness over people.

How right we are validates our place in society.

Right, right?

Like I knew something someone didn’t, so now I’m “one up”.

That idea leads to a “my way or the highway” attitude and is by far the least constructive approach to influence constructive and lasting relationships .

So what do we need to do? Start with clarity.


Of course there are times you will never agree with a certain someone. And you don’t have to. The point to leveraging your perspective is to stop trying to always be right and instead approach conversations aiming to understand.

In order to overcome any objection, you have to understand it as if it were your own.

Even if you don’t agree with an idea, it should be crystal clear to you why someone would be able to believe that alternative perspective.

Gaining this clarity will provide the confidence you need to approach your “opponent” as an ally, and be seen as someone who “gets them”.

We like people who are like us, that is the law of the universe. (forgive me for saying universe)

We love people who make us feel understood. That said, whenever you find yourself in a gridlock, I can guarantee that you did not enter that conversation with clarity.


If you’re approaching a conversation thinking they’re already wrong, then you’ve lost.

The best thing about approaching with clarity is that you might also be able to learn something.

Any real attempt to reach the humanity of another person will create goodwill and open conversation.

Great progress starts when one person is willing to bring what is good to the table. From there you can lead the interaction.

So, in order to have a constructive conversation you can’t approach as if they’re already wrong.

One solid truth is that people don’t know what they don't know. Present company included. There are amazing gifts that can come to you if you keep your perspective open to gaining new information!


“My way or the Highway” makes you the loser because when you meet others interests, you'll find your interests are met too.

When all you care about is winning it no longer becomes about the agreement you wish to seek but about how right you are and how wrong the other person is.

I’m all about winning but in a relationship the goal should never be what can I get outta this (like a victory).

That just divides us into the “haves” and the “have nots”. The whole point of a constructive disagreement is that we both move away from taking sides and ultimately end up understanding more than we did before.

There are no sides, there is simply humanity. The more that you can keep that as the focal point, the better your vision and desired outcome will be.

How good is it when people come together instead of deepening divide?

Real conversation catches fire.


When we hear something we tend to filter it through our own experience.

We subconsciously ask ourselves the questions, “Is this true?” or “Is this false?”. We think fast that way.

I want to encourage you to think slow instead.

You don’t need to decide if this is true or false because, newsflash, it’s not about you.

To influence others to act you must connect with a core desire within them, and that's often to give people the power to be heard and understood.

If youre trying to find new ways to connect with your audience grab this link,, it's 4 fast ways to grow your business through 4 ways people HEAR what you say, not WHAT you say.

Why we hate Sales, Selling, + Salesmen.


Why we hate Sales, Selling, + Salesmen.

It flashed across my twitter feed.  
I couldn't believe it. 

The only book in sales I'd ever need - (they told me)
I waited weeks for it to arrive and ran around to a handful of Barnes and Nobles until I had it. 

I couldn't even wait for Amazon to delivery it. 

They called it, "the new Psychology of Selling" and it emphasized as business owners, it's not what we sell but how we sell it. 

Our ability to "close sales", depends on our ability to connect with people.
(awesome perspective!)

And as I tore through the pages, and grabbed great nuggets, I thought, "This?  This is the new psychology of selling?" 

They shared it was about being a good person, a great friend, and having an emotional awareness of those in your circle and being tuned in to their needs. 

(no wonder why there is a stigma around selling, what have you been doing this whole time?!!)

This new way was not new at all and this "approach" is definitely not new to women. 

This is exactly how I run (and ran) my businesses and coach others through theirs. 

We must show up and treat our customers just like we would our own best friend. 
I even wrote about it, here.

Towards the end of the book, that's where I had to stop reading

The ping in my stomach hit.

He punched me right there and said while the relationship is important, it is not more important than the sale and the relationship cannot get in the way of the deal closing.

{WHAT?!  insert every salesman stereotype here}

As a Sales Coach, I would never give this advice.
(maybe that's why they call me unconventional)

Yes, the sale is very important and when you understand selling through the eyes of service it is your job to sell and help the person get over objections and get what they want. 

And if done well, you can get what you need too. 
They don't have to be mutually exclusive. 

But to be successful in sales you have to be the one that removes yourself from the outcome, the sale is not more important, it's the person.

So when you use the relationship to get a sale that's when it gets icky. 
That's when it doesn't feel right, you must SEE them AND their NEED -

That's why making a contact list of 75 friends to see if they'd buy feels gross.
(not to mention totally outdated)

And those who experience this FEEL USED.

So as business owners, we must earn our right to sell.

We must earn our right to ask.

And if I was to pick out a new way of selling, it's creating the environment that moves them to absolutely without a doubt, fall in love with their decision to buy. 

And you know who people love to buy from more than anyone else?!!??

The whole point of selling is to help your relationship not have a relationship where the most important outcome is the sale. 
(sorry Jeb, great book, but this point is wrong.)

So try instead to warm your life with new relationships not to expand a rolodex but to see people as they are, where they are, and with tools and service that they want.

And only then will you succeed.
And only then when you have earned that right, will selling feel awesome.

If you're a creative business owner, ready to connect to excited customers and grow your business that isn't filled with yuck here's the link to my schedule and I'd love to hear more about what you do and if I can help you with refreshing sales strategy..



Are you friends with your customers? You should + here's why.

Are you friends with your customers? You should + here's why.

I think everyone’s my friend.  I can’t help it.  My daughter does too. We love people.  At age two, she would roll down the window and say hi to the city people waiting for the bus.  “HI!!”  

“What are you doing?”, we’d ask her.  “Saying hi to my friends.” - she’d reply. 

I naturally run my business from this place as well, making friends with my customers because there is no better person on this planet than our best friend.  

Best friends have our best interest at heart, they care selflessly, they are never out for their own gain, and are not afraid to tell us the truth.  

This is one of the very first pieces of business nuggets I received when I started my entrepreneurial journey.

People like to do business with their friends.

Every time I go to speak, I ask, “does this pass the best friend test?”  

When I go to sell, I ask, “does this pass the best friend test?”  Would I tell her this?  Is this how I would talk?  Does she need this thing?

All friends have to have a connection, a common bond that binds them. Sometimes it's ability to say whole sentences with a single look. That one Gnarles Barkley song, CRAZY that you both can’t help but sing along to.  You need that, and you need to know what your common ground is with your customers.

Where’s your connection?   

You have the opportunity on your website or any social media outlet, but instead you've listed a resume about yourself!  Your friend doesn't need a resume.  Boring. They don't want you to tell them, SHOW THEM!    

Find a connection through their problems.  Do you know them?  

Are you annoyed when they show up, or do you honestly enjoy their company?!  

These are very easy and honest  ways to create goodwill and friendships among your customers. 

The bonus is that it’s also the best advantage for your business in the marketplace.

If you'd like my 5 step roadmap to sell with ease, you just learned step 1.  If you'd like step 2, 3, 4, and 5 get the download here

5 Start Today Ways to Sell with Less Spam

5 Start Today Ways to Sell with Less Spam

What if we approached selling as “how can I serve people today?”  or “how can connect them to the answers they need whether or not my answer is their solution”

Are the best parts of life in front of you?  or behind you?


Are the best parts of life in front of you? or behind you?

Jane was plain. With an average build, an average face and average looks, she had average smarts and went about her life in average ways.

Until one day, she cut her own hair. She cut her bangs soooo short that they stuck straight up and not even a bobby pin could hold those hairs back.

All of a sudden, she wasn’t just average plain Jane anymore, she was plain dumb, and now everyone was going to look at her and think the exact same thing.

“I can’t believe I was so stupid” she told herself.  

But honestly, she believed it.

She was always talking down to herself, telling herself that she couldn’t be more than average and that’s why she woke up angry and upset at herself. Because she wanted to be more than average.

Why couldn’t she be more? Why couldn’t she be smarter?  Prettier?  Better?  Above average?  Why did it take so long to move half a step forward?  And why was her family already reminding her of her average roots saying ‘don’t forget where you came from’?

And no matter how hard she wanted to pull herself together and be content with her life, she couldn’t. She wanted more than average so how could she be happy with where she was when she wanted more?

And the self talk would continue.

We all tend to think that life is a series of events, or a bunch of steps moving towards something that will eventually change us, but life happens in moments. 

In single moment you can change, and so can Jane.

This moment came in a dream after a night of too much drinking.  It was unclear but it was something. A woman showed up, riding a stallion with legs that towered well over our heads. Her hair blowing in the wind like the movies and this woman asked to see the baby.  The baby?  There was no baby.   And this woman riding on the horse continued to cry out for the baby.

Jane replied to the horseback rider and said “when it feels impossible, it's time to find another way.”  

Jane woke up immediately and in that moment she learned that if we want a different life we have to do something we have never done before. 

It was time to find a new way and she wasn’t going to stop until she found it. 

She went back the bathroom and cut the rest of her average hair. It was all lopsided but it was definitely not average, and she loved it.

Instead of focusing on where she wanted to go, like she did in the past, she began focusing on who she wanted to be, and that was the kind of person that would never say a bad thing about herself again.

Jane changed, thanks to a single moment.

If you’re looking for your single moment to change but don’t know where to start, then let’s chat. I can help you find that single moment of clarity that will help you map out your new life. Click here for all the details.


The Richest Decision of Your Life

The Richest Decision of Your Life

So I know a guy, David, and he goes about his life thinking he’s happy doing what he’s always done. He’s what you’d call strong willed, the kind of guy who makes up his mind and sticks to his guns.

The guy you never want to get into a healthy debate with because you can never prove him wrong.

He wakes up early, goes to work, stays late. Repeat.

Always repeat.

He could never tell anyone that he actually hates it, that it’s so fucking boring, and his ‘routine’ is really just autopilot.

He would never tell anyone because then they’d say it’s his own damn fault. He made choices and now he has to pay the consequence of silently suffering.

As David continues to live on repeat, he tries to convince himself that everything’s okay, because it’s better to be right and live in misery than to be wrong.

Because admitting something’s wrong in your life is admitting failure.  And he was taught to keep going. He made his bed and now it’s time to lay in it.

Wake up early.

Go to work.

Stay late.


Until one day, a random person on the street caught David’s eye and it stopped him in his tracks. David blinked. And he started breathing, not that he stopped but it felt like he had been holding his breathe a really long time.

One day this someone stopped him.  David didn’t know this person or his name, it was just a random person on the street that caught David’s eye.

David stopped, blinked and took a big deep breath in for the first time in what felt like forever. He can’t remember the last time he felt his own breathe. 

David doesn’t know why that particular guy caught his eye, or why he was compelled to stop and breathe, but all it took was this moment to disrupt his autopilot life.

That moment and that random man set David’s soul on fire.

And there it was. He felt alive.

Have you had that feeling? 

Where you didn’t even know what you wanted until your soul calls it forth? Where you know you were meant for more than what you were doing?  

That’s what happened to David, and he never wanted to go back to his autopilot life.

In that moment, he had outgrown his routine.

But then his logical brain interjected.

What about the money? He wasn’t going to have enough.

It’s always fucking about money.

How do you start a new life without the money you need to ya know, survive?

David wasn’t much of a gambler, but he knew if he went back he was as good as dead, so he made up his mind and made the richest decision of his life.

To change.

If you’re at all feeling like David felt, or if you life looks a little like David’s did and you’re ready to start breathing again and start living but you don’t know where to begin, the let me help you.

Click here and let’s jump on a call to talk about the best way I can help you change your life.

All it takes is a little brainstorming to create new choices for a whole different life.